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NEVER SAY NEVER TO GOD

by Bill Ramsey and Betty Shrier, Serra Club of Omaha, Neb.

Father Francis Nigli was 35 when he had his first roller coaster ride. It began slowly, calmly...then gradually the open-car trains scaled the elevated track to attain precipitous peaks before plunging frightened passengers headlong to indeterminate valleys where disembarking was not an option.

When Father Francis Nigli (pronounced NEE-lee) compared his call to priesthood to a roller coaster ride, he got the attention of his audience, members of the Serra Club of Omaha.
Born on March 1, 1960 in Mumbai, (formerly Bombay) India, Francis was the seventh of nine children, six boys and three girls. He believes the stability of his family life brought him to an awareness of God’s daily presence with us.

Nigli’s maternal grandmother was a pioneer in creating church ministries and activities. In March 1961, she was honored with one of the highest awards for a layperson, Pro Ecclesia et Pontifice. Pope John XXIII paid tribute to Charlotte deGa for her active life of faith and generosity to the Church. “I have the greatest regard for my grandmother,” Nigli said. “And my mom and dad picked up the same spirit.”

Daily routine became the framework for their faith journey. Each day began with Mass, weather notwithstanding. After school each day, the children enjoyed playing outside until their study time. Before dinner, the entire family knelt down at a small altar to pray the rosary. Then it was dinnertime, followed by some extended study time for those in high school.

Learning to listen

Francis Nigli had his first encounter with Jesus at age four. He traced that moment of grace with the example of his mother and father. He recalled that his mother explained the life of Christ with appealing and artistically designed picture books illustrating the mysteries of the rosary. “There was a picture for every bead. Mother would point to each drawing as we said the prayer together.” Then a memorable day came when his mother’s time had come to deliver Francis’ next brother. When his parents left for the hospital in the car, Francis went to the family altar and knelt down. He opened his heart to God:

“‘How come you talk to everybody else? I’d like you to talk to me, I mean... if you’d like to.’ And He did! Never say that God does not hear our prayers. He’s listening to each one of us.” Francis’ direct style of communication with God continues to this day.

The school children at St. Vincent de Paul School ask him if he actually heard God’s voice then. He tells them, “It was not a physical hearing but it was a clear knowing.” Not sure if a seventh- or eighth-grader could figure it out, Nigli drew upon the experience of a mother standing in a noisy room full of young babies and little children.

“A mom standing in the middle of that will hear her own little child cry,” he said. “We, without that link, could not tell one voice from another; it would all come as noise. But because you are attuned, that voice will shout right at you.

“Regardless of feelings, if you’re focused on God and listening to God because you are attuned, His voice will jump out at you...through the noise of the day or whatever else it might be.”

His students could not believe it might be that way for real. Nigli told them it was true and that God wants us to talk to Him. Using the telephone as a prop, he urged them to call Him “...free any time of the day; call God collect, 1-800-CALL-GOD.” Using ordinary objects and language, Nigli communicates how God helps him reflect the light of the Holy Spirit.

“I give my kids the three-word prayer: There are four parts of our day: Get up in the morning. ‘Good morning, Lord.’ That’s giving your attention to God. Go to bed, last words: ‘Good night, Lord’...and make the sign of the cross. Not a big deal...Throughout the day, only two things happen: either a good day or a bad day...in shades of good and bad. If good, ‘Thank you, Lord.’ Bad day, ‘Help me, Lord!’ Their little brain cells can handle this three-word prayer.”

God’s funny bone

The Jesuit Fathers were Nigli’s instructors throughout his grade, high school and college years. He admired their founder, St. Ignatius of Loyola, and entered their pre-novitiate program for his first three years of college. He felt certain he had a call to the priesthood. He decided to make a discernment retreat to confirm God’s will and seek his blessings. The first of many unexpected changes came when he discovered otherwise.

“They [the Jesuits] liked me; I liked them,” he said. “(But) God didn’t like the idea! It came as a big shock to me when God didn’t give me any sign at all that I should stay there.”

He became dismayed at the thought that God would give him the boot! Each attempt at prayer brought no acceptable answers. When his director asked Francis what he was angry about, he replied that he didn’t expect God to say ‘no’ to him. The understanding priest said Nigli needed to be gracious; to accept God’s will.

“My first inkling of God’s will is not my will! That has stayed with me forever. I call it now, ‘God’s funny bone.’ Just when you think you’ve got it all wrapped up, it kicks in. You say, ‘Okay, Lord, I don’t want to be presumptuous any more.’”

Nigli began dating while he was working for a pharmaceutical company. During this time he was also actively involved in lay ministry. Here he fell head-over-heels in love with the lady who collaborated with him. She and Nigli became “unofficially engaged.” Her uncle happened to be the local auxiliary Bishop of Mumbai. When the bishop asked him about his plans for the future, he explained that initially he was going to be a priest but God had said ‘no’ to the Jesuits. The prelate replied, “Did God say, ‘No’to the Benedictines, the Franciscans, the diocesan clergy?” The Bishop’s remarks had created unrest and his fiancée was the first to notice that Nigli’s heart had changed. She said, “You seem so unsettled and restless. I’d like you to make a retreat...chill out with God.”

“I went for the retreat, and was amazed to discover that God was calling me! I thought to myself, ‘God’s funny bone is kicking in again. You’ve got to be kidding, God! Go away!’ I was most upset. I told God, ‘I don’t think I can do this because I really don’t know how to fall out of love, for one; I don’t know how to adjust from the way of life I’ve been used to: flourishing Church ministries, traveling around the world, having money and a successful career ahead of me. I’m not sure I want to change that. Also, I don’t want to hurt my lady; I’m not sure about that either.’”

God didn’t even think about this problem for one moment, he mused. “He swept me off my feet on what I call a ‘honeymoon experience.’ I will never forget that; it was a mystical experience. I cannot begin to describe it. The retreat house was on a hill overlooking the ocean. Every wave and all the wind on the trees...I was caught up in that whole awesome love of God there. Nothing was not godly... and I couldn’t think of anything more profound to do as to bring people to touch this God whom I am experiencing right now.”

Nigli called off the engagement and set aside his plans for marriage. His fiancée was gracious when he told her all that had happened. He recalled not falling out of love, but rather changing the quality of his love for her into a filial one. In the years that followed, their paths never crossed. It would be nine years before they would reconnect again. She is happily married and living in Toronto with her husband and two children.

A place to land

Nigli resigned from his job and joined the Patrists [Society of Sons/Daughters of the Father] in 1988. It was a new religious order given canonical approval to start, examine and test. In 1992, 17 in the group came to the Archdiocese of Omaha at the invitation of the late Archbishop Daniel E. Sheehan. The group settled in a monastery in Oakdale, Neb. However, the founder decided not to continue and left the community adrift.

“That was another funny bone,” Nigli said. “I would never have dreamed that after nine years of ministry and formation we would be closed down ...this was like a black hole with no place to land. I think Archbishop Elden Francis Curtiss answered this dilemma by inviting us to join his or another archdiocese, consider another religious congregation or simply return home.”

Nigli joined the Archdiocese of Omaha and attended Pontifical College Josephinum where the rector, then Msgr. Blase Cupich [now Bishop of Rapid City, S. D.], suggested he take a pastoral year off to become more acquainted in the archdiocese. He cautioned him against making a new commitment without knowing what he was setting himself up for.

So he went to St. Stanislaus parish in South Omaha and said he had the time of his life. He became the adopted non-Polish parishioner during his four and a half years there and learned to sing Christmas carols in their language. All through his seminary years, St. Stan’s became his home parish. When he was ordained in 1997, Father Francis offered his first Mass of Thanksgiving among the people he had come to know and love.

Now he’s in his fourth year at St. Vincent de Paul where, in addition to his Sacramental ministries, he is forming an ever-expanding youth ministry with Nicole Florez, Youth Minister, and teaches in the elementary school, grades four to eight.
“(The children are) thirsting for a simple understanding of a God who loves them. The fact that our God is accessible and wants to be there for them is heartening news in today’s world where parents are so busy that often the children feel brushed aside.”

Nigli was 35 when he had his first roller coaster ride. It began slowly, calmly...then gradually the open-car trains scaled the elevated track to attain precipitous peaks before plunging frightened passengers headlong to indeterminate valleys where disembarking was not an option.

Nigli’s perplexing, lengthy and often frustrating path to priesthood has left him with many lessons. He hopes his transforming travels will encourage others to keep going when rough roads threaten.

“Whenever our plans unravel and we are faced with choices holding unpredictable outcomes, I believe the best course of action is to pray fervently to know God’s will. When it comes to a vocation to the priesthood and religious life, I’ve learned that God can call a person in the midst of a successful career or even after one is engaged to marry.” Then he smiled. “Never say ‘never’ to God.”

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